By April, Milo's influence is massive. The mess officer controls the international black market, plays a major role in the world economy, and uses Air Force planes from countries all over the world to carry shipments of his supplies; the planes are repainted with an "M & M Enterprises" logo, but Milo continues to insist that everybody has a share in his syndicate. Milo contracts with the Germans to bomb the Americans, and with the Americans to shoot down German planes. German anti-aircraft guns contracted by Milo even shot down Mudd, the dead man in Yossarian's tent, for which Yossarian holds a grudge against Milo. Milo wants Yossarian's help concocting a solution for unloading his massive holdings of Egyptian cotton, which he cannot sell and which threatens to ruin his entire operation. One evening after dinner, Milo's planes begin to bomb Milo's own camp: He has landed another contract with the Germans, and dozens of men are wounded and killed during the attack. Almost everyone wants to end M & M Enterprises right then, but Milo shows them how much money they have all made, and the survivors almost all forgive him. While Yossarian sits naked in a tree watching Snowden's funeral, Milo seeks him out to talk to him about the cotton; he gives Yossarian some chocolate-covered cotton and tries to convince him it is really candy. Yossarian tells Milo to ask the government to buy his cotton, and Milo is struck by the intelligence behind the idea.

The chaplain is troubled. No one seems to treat him as a regular human being; everyone is uncomfortable in his presence, he is intimidated by the soldiers--especially Colonel Cathcart--and he is generally ineffectual as a religious leader. He grows increasingly miserable, and is sustained solely by the thought of the religious visions he has seen since his arrival, such as the vision of the naked man in the tree at Snowden's funeral. Of course, the naked man was Yossarian. He dreams of his wife and children dying horribly in his absence. He tries to see Major Major about the number of missions the men are asked to fly, but, like everyone else, finds that Major Major will not allow him into his office except when he is out. On the way to see Major Major a second time, the chaplain encounters Flume, Chief White Halfoat's old roommate who is so afraid of having his throat slit while he sleeps that he has taken to living in the forest. The chaplain then learns that Corporal Whitcomb has been promoted to sergeant by Colonel Cathcart for an idea that the colonel believes will land him in the Saturday Evening Post. The chaplain tries to mingle with the men at the officers' club, but Colonel Cathcart periodically throws him out. The chaplain takes to doubting everything, even God.

The night Nately falls in love with his whore, she sits naked from the waist down in a room full of enlisted men playing blackjack. She is already sick of Nately, and tries to interest one of the enlisted men, but none of them notice her. Nately follows her out, then to the officers' apartments in Rome, where she tries the same trick on Nately's friends. Aarfy calls her a slut, and Nately is deeply offended. Aarfy is the navigator of the flight on which Yossarian is finally hit by flak; he is wounded in the leg and taken to the hospital, where he and Dunbar change identities by ordering lower-ranking men to trade beds with them. Dunbar pretends to be A. Fortiori. Finally they are caught by Nurse Cramer and Nurse Duckett, who takes Yossarian by the ear and puts him back to bed.

Chapters 27-31

The next morning, while Nurse Duckett is smoothing the sheets at the foot of his bed, Yossarian thrusts his hand up her skirt. She shrieks and rushes away, and Dunbar grabs her bosom from behind. When she is finally rescued by a furious doctor, Yossarian tries to plead insanity--he says he has a recurring dream about a fish--so he is assigned an appointment with Major Sanderson, the hospital psychiatrist. Sanderson is more interested in discussing his own problems than his patient's. Yossarian's friends visit him in the hospital--Dobbs offers again to kill Colonel Cathcart--and finally, after Yossarian admits that he thinks people are trying to kill him and that he has not adjusted to the war, Major Sanderson decides that Yossarian really is crazy and decides to send him home. But because of the identity mixup perpetrated by Yossarian and Dunbar earlier in their hospital stay, there is a mistake, and A. Fortiori is sent home instead. Furiously, Yossarian goes to see Doc Daneeka, but Doc Daneeka will not ground Yossarian for reasons of insanity. Who else but a crazy man, he asks, would go out to fight?

Yossarian goes to see Dobbs, and tells him to go ahead and kill Colonel Cathcart. But Dobbs has finished his sixty missions, and is waiting to be sent home; he no longer needs to kill Colonel Cathcart. When Yossarian says that Colonel Cathcart will simply raise the number of missions again, Dobbs says he'll wait and see, but that perhaps Orr would help Yossarian kill the colonel. Orr crashed his plane again while Yossarian was in the hospital and was fished out of the ocean--none of the life jackets in his plane worked, because Milo took out the carbon dioxide tanks to use for making ice-cream sodas. Now, Orr is tinkering with the stove he is trying to build in his and Yossarian's tent; he suggests that Yossarian should try flying a mission with him for practice in case he ever has to make a crash landing. Yossarian broods about the rumored second mission to Bologna. Orr is making noise and irritating him, and Yossarian imagines killing him, which Yossarian finds a relaxing thought. They talk about women--Orr says they don't like Yossarian, and Yossarian replies that they're crazy. Orr tells Yossarian that he knows Yossarian has asked not to fly with him, and offers to tell Yossarian the story of why that naked girl was hitting him with her shoe outside Nately's whore's kid sister's room in Rome. Yossarian laughingly declines, and the next time Orr goes up he again crashes his plane into the ocean. This time, his survival raft drifts away from the others and disappears.